Fuzz and slime are hard to come by in New York. No, I’m not talking about the NYPD. Oh sure, fuzz and slime may seem like a natural resource what with the subway system, indigenous New York lawyers, and the abundance of talk shows that are based here.
But I’m talking about vegetables, specifically OKRA.
I can’t find any restaurants that serve okra in Manhattan. I can’t even get it raw. And that’s a calamity. Fact is, okra was a vital part of my childhood. Not that any child actually likes okra, mind you, but the fuzzy plant has a million other household uses. Such as? Well, you can throw it at your enemies, boil it and put it in your sister’s bed, combine it with tomatoes to create a new life form, or strap some to the bottom of your sneakers and skate all over the house. My okra sling-shot had more enemy-stopping firepower than James Bond’s Walther PPK. Plus it was envirnomentally friendly.
But now that I’m an adult, I like okra. Stewed, boiled, and especially fried. Fried okra is like popcorn, only you don’t have to put immitation butter on it ‘cause it’s greasy enough if it’s been made the right way. Of course, saying I like fried okra really isn’t saying much. Southerners will eat anything fried. My mama could batter and fry a dishrag and my daddy would say it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. That’s just the way it is in Dixie.
Real okra lovers like the slippery path of the fuzzy food. It’s the vegetable equivilant of the oyster. Who ate the first okra? Well, I’m not sure, but “Elizabeth Taylor” is usually a good answer to questions like that.
Okra is actually a cousin of the cotton plant, but you wouldn’t want to try to make a shirt out of it. Fact is, okra just ain’t popular as say, Milk. Can you imagine an Eat More Okra! campaign? Instead of milk moustaches, we could have “Okra Chin.” Maybe if they showedBo Dereck with a buncha green slimy okra strings coming out of her mouth it would sell more okra.
Perhaps we can start an Okra groundswell! A national movement!
Morgan’s Southern Fried Okra
1 lb green slimy okra, sliced to look like buttons
1 lg green tomato, smushed to smithereens
1 med onion chopped
1 Clove garlic, smushed
1 Jalapeno pepper halved & sliced, (sissies remove seeds if too hot)
2 eggs beaten
salt to taste (one cow lick will do)
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 c milk
1 c cornmeal
1/4 c vegetable oil (the politically incorrect can use lard)
Mix okra, tomato, onion, garlic & jalapeno in large bowl. Seperately, combine eggs, salt, pepper, milk. Dump the egg stuff on top of the vegetables and stir until coated. Add cornmeal real slow until the goo on the okra and other vegetables is absorbed. Be sure everythings mixed up plenty. It will be a mess, but don’t panic, it’s supposed to be gooey. Heat grease in your grandmother’s black skillet (10”). Oil is ready when dash of cornmeal sizzles. Spoon mixture in skillet. Reduce heat to med low. Cover and fry till underside is a golden brown, 10-15 minutes. Then invert on plate and and fry the otherside uncovered 5-8 min (the object folks, it to cook both sides). Remove from skillet to paper towels to drain excess oil. Serve hot.
Yield: 6 servings
—Morgan Murphy