New Yorkers think they know everything. They think they got it good up here. They think they’re smarter than we are. They think they won THE WAR, and if you’re a Southerner, you know which war I’m talking about. Which all just goes to show that they don’t know Jack. And if you try to […]
Escaped cows panic New York Read More »
A Danish mother visiting Manhattan left her baby in a carriage outside a barbecue restaurant while she was eating with her husband on Tuesday evening. Alarmed New Yorkers called the police and the mother, Annette Sorensen, was arrested for neglect. I’ve had some good barbecue in my life, but I can personally vouch that there
Danish mom pleads ignorance Read More »
Back when I was a civilian, and hadn’t done any reporting for the media, I read about other people in the newspaper and thought wow! How did they get to be so special? But now that I’ve worked for The New York Post, Harper’s BAZAAR, and Vanity Fair, I know that a good reporter
Anyone can be newsworthy Read More »
In Alabama, we leave a lot of stuff in our cars: hats, cheeseburgers, small children, books, movies, cameras, purses, and even the car keys. And that’s just in the front seat. The car is simply a miniature version of our house, we spend lots of time in it, we clean it, we pamper it, we
New York cabbie draws rave reviews Read More »
“Uma, Ophra, and Op, Alabama,” can you tell me how these things go together? “Not very well,” is the answer. Your roving South-Alabama-native-but-living-in-Manhattan columnist crashed a few Oscar parties here in New York City. Normally, like most of the billion viewers who watched Monday night’s event on ABC, I view the Oscars alone, dressed
Oscar party in the Big Apple Read More »
After living in New York City for neigh on two years now, I am beginning to miss strange things in The Great State of Alabama. Sure, everybody misses grits, sweat tea, houses with columns, and beguiling Southern women when they first leave Dixie. But I’m getting worried about my mental health–I’m finding myself pining away
Pickups in NYC don’t meet Bama standards Read More »
Some New Yorkers have the nerve to make fun of the way Alabamians talk. They say it is unintelligible and sounds ignorant. Right. Like “Hey youz guyz, move dat #%@* truck out of my *$&@ way” sounds brilliant. If Einstein had been a New Yorker, the formula would have been “E=M#%@C.” So as an accented
Fuzz and slime are hard to come by in New York. No, I’m not talking about the NYPD. Oh sure, fuzz and slime may seem like a natural resource what with the subway system, indigenous New York lawyers, and the abundance of talk shows that are based here. But I’m talking about vegetables, specifically OKRA.
Delicious Southern fried okra Read More »
Last week I gave a bit of advice about taking a cast-iron skillet with you whenever you go to the country. Let me exend that rule to French restaurants. They don’t have much to eat there that I can tell. Now I’m not bashing French food, mind you. We’ve got some pretty disgusting food in
Language barrier poses dining, Romance problems Read More »
The New York City grocery store business is made up of a vast mafia cartel that controls, among other things, monetary prices in South Korea, the Academy Awards, Pop-Tart placement on aisle four, and grocery-cart wheel friction. In short, it’s a racket. I like to eat, but I don’t like to buy groceries. There are
New York City grocers are too powerful Read More »
