We’re coming upon a day of the year that I just am not real fond of. April 15th. Uncle Sam’s payday. If there are two things to which I am morally opposed, it’s paying taxes and dropping dead. Thankfully, most of us only have to pass on to the hereafter once. Taxes unfortunately, are […]
Taxes are a yearly, if not daily, event Read More »
My mama recently came to New York City. Talk about panic. New York City isn’t any place for a genteel Southern lady like my mama to be gallivanting around. No sir. My mother is elegant, soft-spoken, and so beautiful that most people can’t believe she is old enough to have a 24-year-old son. And lest
What is a genteel Southern woman doing in New York City Read More »
Thirty-nine cult followers “shed” their “containment units” a few weeks ago to meet up with an alien spacecraft traveling in the shadow of the Hale-Bopp Comet. It should come as no surprise that they were from California. We’ve got some good old boys here in Alabama that may see UFOs from time to time. We
Test devised for local aliens Read More »
There are uptown little towns, and then there are not-so-uptown little towns. Fortunately, Andalusia is in the “uptown” category. What makes an “uptown,” you ask? Cultural things do. Civic pride. A good golf course. Artists. Writers. A pretty square. Andalusians certainly have more to do than go to a hamburger joint and drive around the
Ballet sissy? I think not Read More »
My first day in Central Park on in-line skates was filled with excitement. The threat of permanent brain damage always gets me keyed up. I certainly got closer to New Yorkers. Real close. I skated face-first into garbage men, hotdog sellers, innocent children, joggers, bums, and even a cute woman playing a guitar. You’d be surprised how quickly hotdog sellers help stop you when you’ve grabbed hold of their weenie cart and started down a big hill (those umbrellas atop the carts also create a parachute effect if you’re going really fast).
Rollerblading in New York City Read More »
There are basically three kinds of elevators in New York City: old; new; and scary.
Hanging by a String Read More »
What happens in Alabama when it snows? People go crazy. The weathermen get excited. There’s a mad rush for the grocery store (as if two inches of snow might actually force people to pull an Ethan Frome). And after the roads get good and iced over, Bubba invariably gets cabin fever and decides to take the Dodge Ram out for a spin.
New York Snowstorm unleashes Acid Snowmen Read More »
So in the mighty Empire State Building, I paid five bucks to ride to the top in an Otis. We stopped prematurely around the 73 floor. And there we sat. Four two hours. Dangling by a cord. By a veritable thread. By the 64 year-old design of Mr. Otis. The other tourists were from Kansas or somewhere like that and got nervous.
Boxes Hanging by Strings Read More »
As I have said before, I’m just not real swift at sports. Blasphemy, I know, in Alabama. We are a state of sportsman. Shoot, “Bear” Bryant is a deity. God may have created the heavens and earth in six days, but the Bear whupped up on Notre Dame. Call Dash – yes sir: soccer, football,
Some suggestions for Olympics Read More »
In 1995, I tried my hand at advertising as my father, Mike Murphy, the original Mad Man, had done for years. These were my first (and only) attempts at radio copy. At that time, Saatchi & Saatchi reigned as the world’s largest advertising agency with clients such as P&G, Toyota, and Bell Atlantic (later Verizon).
Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwide Radio Copy Read More »
